Pet dogs stand ............ .... Show dogs stack.

Pet dogs get a bath ......... Show dogs are groomed.

Pet dogs beg for treats .... Show dogs bait.

Pet dogs poop ......,..... .... Show dogs exercise.

Pet dogs bark at other dogs ..... Show dogs spar.

Pet dogs wear leashes..... .Show dogs wear leads

Author Unknown

Dog Show Definitions:

1. Great stud dog ............ ... Mounts anything that can fog a  mirror.

2. Excels in movement .......If he gets loose, runs like hell.

3. Personality Plus ............ Wakes up if you put liver up his nose.

4. Good bite ............ ......... Missed the judge, got the steward.

5. Large boned ............ ..... Looks like a Clydesdale.

 6. Good obedience prospect .... ugly as hell.

 7. Quiet and good natured ..... In his kennel.

 8. Excels in type and style ..... However, moves like a spider on speed".

 9. Won in stiff competition ..... Beat four puppies and a 9 year old novice dog.

10. Multiple group winner ..... At two puppy matches.

11. Pointed ............ ......... His head is shaped like a carrot.

12. Noted Judge ............ . He put up our dog.

13. Respected Judge ......He put up our dog twice.

14. Esteemed Judge ...... He puts up anything that crawls.

15. Specialty Judge ....... Puts up anything that looks like his own  breeding.

16. Won in heavy competition ...The other dogs were revoltingly overweight.

17. Shown sparingly ...........Only when we had it in the bag.

18. Show Prospect ............ . He has 4 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 tail.

19. Finished in 5 shows ..... And 89 where he failed to win a ribbon.

20. Well Balanced ............ .. Straight as a stick, front and rear.

21. Handled brilliantly by .... Nobody else can get near him.

22. At stud to "approved" bitches ...... Those bitches whose  owner's  check is good.

23. Linebred from famous champions... ... Ch. Whoozitz appears twice 6^th  generation.

24. Terrific brood bitch ...... Her conformation is the pits, but she  conceives big litters.

25. Wins another Best In Show ... His second, under the same judge, our uncle.

Author Unknown